Not Me! Monday — Baby Blues

by Dagmar Bleasdale on January 30, 2012

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

Brutally honest? I’ll give you brutally honest.

One of my girlfriends just had her third child, and my niece her first. My nephew’s wife is pregnant with their first, and a friend of ours just had his first. And I do NOT long so much to have another baby.

I wish I could do it all over again – pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding a newborn. Even two months of unrelenting nausea (OMG, that nausea!) and sleep-deprived nights up with a gassy baby. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Wasn’t the video of the giggling, breastfeeding baby I posted yesterday NOT the cutest? Seeing that baby nurse reminded me of those precious moments of breastfeeding L when he was that little.

But on the other hand, life with just Landon is perfect. He is perfect. He’s healthy and the most mellow, gentle, sweet little boy.

L gets a lot of mommy and daddy attention by being an only child, and he hasn’t ever mentioned that he’d like a brother or a sister. But it makes me sad when I see L want to play with other kids so badly when he is around them. And he would be a wonderful, attentive, helpful big brother, but they would be six or seven years apart.

Now that L is in kindergarten, I have more time to do what I love so much besides being a mommy — making a living with blogging and social media consulting. I’m so blessed — with this amazing little boy, a husband I love, and a career that I adore. And we are working on another big project that is a dream of mine that keeps me busy.

Why chance it and throw a baby into the mix? Things are easier now. Why risk that it would be too much — for us as a couple, for us as a family, for my body? What if the child wasn’t healthy because of my age?

I don’t ever want to hear, “YOU are the one who wanted a second one!” It would crush me.

Saying it would be a stretch financially would be an understatement. I wouldn’t be able, or willing, to work much at first, but we need a second income. All around it wouldn’t be a smart or practical decision. And I’m usually very practical. I feel selfish to even think of having another child.

But sometimes I wish I was 10 years or even five years younger — I think then I would throw caution to the wind and have another baby. And keep that highchair I just cleaned up for an hour so I can resell it.

Because being practical is overrated.

Baby Blues? NOT me!

{Not Me! Monday! is a blog carnival by MckMama.}

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Fadra February 15, 2012 at 11:27 PM

I could have written this post, word for word. I have my one and only. I sometimes yearn and sometimes ache. Sometimes for his sake and sometimes for mine. But at my age and his (he just turned 5), I think our family is complete with three.


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