Not Me! Monday — Baby Blues

by Dagmar Bleasdale on January 30, 2012

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

Brutally honest? I’ll give you brutally honest.

One of my girlfriends just had her third child, and my niece her first. My nephew’s wife is pregnant with their first, and a friend of ours just had his first. And I do NOT long so much to have another baby.

I wish I could do it all over again – pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding a newborn. Even two months of unrelenting nausea (OMG, that nausea!) and sleep-deprived nights up with a gassy baby. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Wasn’t the video of the giggling, breastfeeding baby I posted yesterday NOT the cutest? Seeing that baby nurse reminded me of those precious moments of breastfeeding L when he was that little.

But on the other hand, life with just Landon is perfect. He is perfect. He’s healthy and the most mellow, gentle, sweet little boy.

L gets a lot of mommy and daddy attention by being an only child, and he hasn’t ever mentioned that he’d like a brother or a sister. But it makes me sad when I see L want to play with other kids so badly when he is around them. And he would be a wonderful, attentive, helpful big brother, but they would be six or seven years apart.

Now that L is in kindergarten, I have more time to do what I love so much besides being a mommy — making a living with blogging and social media consulting. I’m so blessed — with this amazing little boy, a husband I love, and a career that I adore. And we are working on another big project that is a dream of mine that keeps me busy.

Why chance it and throw a baby into the mix? Things are easier now. Why risk that it would be too much — for us as a couple, for us as a family, for my body? What if the child wasn’t healthy because of my age?

I don’t ever want to hear, “YOU are the one who wanted a second one!” It would crush me.

Saying it would be a stretch financially would be an understatement. I wouldn’t be able, or willing, to work much at first, but we need a second income. All around it wouldn’t be a smart or practical decision. And I’m usually very practical. I feel selfish to even think of having another child.

But sometimes I wish I was 10 years or even five years younger — I think then I would throw caution to the wind and have another baby. And keep that highchair I just cleaned up for an hour so I can resell it.

Because being practical is overrated.

Baby Blues? NOT me!

{Not Me! Monday! is a blog carnival by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else has not been doing this week.}

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Fadra February 15, 2012 at 11:27 PM

I could have written this post, word for word. I have my one and only. I sometimes yearn and sometimes ache. Sometimes for his sake and sometimes for mine. But at my age and his (he just turned 5), I think our family is complete with three.

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Andrea Kruse January 31, 2012 at 6:13 PM

I have to say I feel the opposite… I have been thinking long and hard about having a third baby. I am 33, so I don’t feel like I have more than a year or so to mull it over. I just keep thinking about having older kids, adult children and wanting our family to be bigger and more fun. Of course I still need to convince my husband.

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Making Our Life Matter January 31, 2012 at 10:36 AM

I so miss Not Me! Mondays.

I was always like that with wanting a 3rd child. But after having so much trouble with the first two, I wasn’t brave enough. Now that I am knocking on 40, I sometimes regret not trying. I think. Maybe not.

Thanks for sharing this post!

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Kathy Morelli January 31, 2012 at 8:33 AM

Nice post…captures my feelings as well…even tho I am WAY past baby making days!

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MarcieMom January 31, 2012 at 3:55 AM

I struggle with that too, I have only one child (with eczema) – Marcie. (I’m even known as MarcieMom!) It’s still difficult raising a child w eczema, constantly having to watch out for scratching. How do I have the energy and the money (not cheap with all the moisturizers, 500ml per week) to have another child? Yet EVERYONE is telling me they don’t regret a second child and see that it’s better for the first child. I even blogged a post about it here, ‘Should I have only one child?’ http://eczemablues.com/2011/12/is-it-ok-to-have-only-one-child/

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PragmaticMom January 30, 2012 at 4:53 PM

OMG, adorable onesie on that adorable baby!!!

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Dagmar January 30, 2012 at 9:02 PM

Isn’t that the cutest?

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Lorette Lavine January 30, 2012 at 3:58 PM

The only thing I can say is that my girls were 23 months apart and two children was more than double one in every aspect. I am now taking care of my granddaughter who is three and realize what I missed by having two children so close together. It is so much fun enjoying one little one without having to divide time and energy all day long.
It is a personal choice if or when to have another child…choose what is right for you and your family. :)

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Diane January 30, 2012 at 3:02 PM

I hear you loud and clear! I too am a mom of a five yr old son and am happy – usually- with having one child. Jack is also very happy being an only child. But I get those pangs and thoughts of why didn’t I start having children earlier!!! Its all natural and you do need to do what is best for your family.

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