I received what I consider an unkind blog comment regarding my blog post about Facebook Deleting the Leaky Boob Support Group for Breastfeeding Moms.
Now, there are five ways I could have responded:
- delete it — because it’s just unkind, in my opinion and because I can — this is MY blog
- approve it and don’t address it and have other readers comment on it if they want
- approve it and reply to the commenter publicly
- approve or delete it and e-mail her privately
- or blog about commenting etiquette
I have chosen to approve the comment and to reply.
I wasn’t just going to have her words out there without a response, because I felt they were unfair accusations.
And I’m going to take this opportunity to blog about netiquette.
Netiquette: How to Deal With Unkind Blog Comments
I was amazed how many of my Twitter friends chimed in when I asked how they deal with unkind comments — clearly this is a hot-button issue.
No one likes hurtful or attacking comments we inevitably get, once in a while or a lot, depending on what we blog about.
One of my Twitter friends, Brittany from Mommy Words, just wrote a wonderful post about commenting etiquette: Comment with Class.
I could not have said it any better, and I guess it was meant to be that she just wrote about netiquette.
My favorite part in her post:
“If an article is published that you disagree with it is perfectly acceptable to register your disagreement and state your own view. Your view is your truth, in this case. If you have stated your view and then bash the author or another commenter, I would say that falls into the “not needful” and “not kind” categories. … So if you are commenting and it is unkind, reword it. If you can’t be anything but nasty, exercise some control and move on.”
Brilliant. Enough said.
Actually, I take that back. The always eloquent The Feminist Breeder, who I adore so much for all she does for breastfeeding moms and empowering women and all her achievements, puts her commenting netiquette like only she can:
This is MY house, and I’ve invited you over for a dinner party. I encourage thoughtful interaction and respectful debate. I love alternative opinions and spirited discussions. However, if you don’t like what I’m serving here, you are welcome to politely disagree, or simply leave the party. Conduct yourself in my space as you would in my home. If you become abusive, hostile, or otherwise embarrass yourself, then you will be shown to the door. If you refuse to leave, I will lock the door behind you. This is a personal blog, which means I am under no obligation to allow all comments on this page. If you don’t like that, get your own blog.
Keep in mind, I own this space. Once your comment is published here, I own it and reserve the right to use it in any way I see fit, including quoting for future posts.”
This is how I address commenting etiquette on my disclaimer page:
“Commenting at Dagmar’s Home (http://DagmarBleasdale.com) is your right and always welcome and encouraged. I want to hear what you have to say, but I moderate comments and will not be held responsible for what others say in comments. Please take caution in leaving comments and realizing that they are public.”
After reading Gina’s commenting guidelines, I think it wouldn’t hurt to beef up my rules on commenting.
A few weeks ago I received a nice response to a comment I left on McKMama’s blog. She wrote:
“…since I didn’t breastfeed either of my children; by my choice -I don’t agree with your stance on breastfeeding. HOWEVER, I do respect it so much. I have never, ever seen you leave a comment here or on your own blog that EVER came across anything other than you wanting to share your experience with anyone who might be interested or might find it helpful. I respect you so much for that. And I do admire you for still night nursing your son -if my kids were not sleeping through the night by age 4 -I KNOW I would have lost my mind. Wow! Persistence must be one of your gifts:)”
Now that’s classy.
You don’t have to agree with what I’m writing. Just be classy, kind, and respectful when you comment. There is such a thing as netiquette.
How do you deal with unkind comments?