How a Boy Named Stellan Made Me A Better Mother

by Dagmar Bleasdale on July 30, 2009

I learned about Jennifer and Stellan a few days ago, and that sweet little boy has been on my mind since then. Jennifer’s beautiful blog, My Charming Kids, is actually one of the first mom blogs I ever came across seven months ago when I started my blog, but I hadn’t checked in until a tweet by another mom caught my attention.

Stellan, one of four, is her nine-month-old adorable little boy who has heart failure, and Jennifer blogs about their difficult and heart-breaking journey every day. More than 17,500 people follow her tweets. Over 2,000 blogger have added a Stellan twibbon to their Twitter pictures.

As a mom of a little boy, I find myself glued to Jennifer’s tweets and her blog. I can’t wait to read Jennifer’s entries but am literally scared to push the refresh button — too scared to read more bad news, or worse. A few nights ago it was touch-and-go for hours, and I fought the tears with every update. I can not imagine having to go through what Jennifer and her family go through, so close to losing Stellan at any moment.

I don’t pray much, but I have been praying for Stellan every day. I don’t cry much, but I have been crying for Stellan every day — it makes me cry to see my healthy boy when I think of Stellan, and I cry when I see pictures of Stellan and think of my healthy boy.

I don’t know this little boy or his family, but he has captured my heart as if he were my own. I’ll never think of Landon’s health or life the same after this experience — not that I have ever taken Landon’s health for granted.

My biggest worry every day are Landon’s cavity issues, but they become trivial real quick when confronted with health issues of Stellan’s magnitude. Life is so fleeting and unpredictable — Stellan’s story is a good reminder not to forget that for a moment and to wrap our arms around our children as often as we can. I will.

Stellan, hang in there, little guy, a lot of people are sending you buckets of love. I pray you get the treatment that will allow you to have a normal, happy, healthy life. Jennifer, you are a brave woman, bless you.

Update: I’m elated to report that as of November 9, 2009, Stellan’s SVT, his fast heartbeat, has been fixed during a risky operation called an ablation in Boston! You can read about it here. Yay, little Stellan and Jennifer, I couldn’t be happier to hear those news. Your birthday is just one day before Landon’s birthday, maybe that is why I feel so close to this little man.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Miss P July 31, 2009 at 2:51 AM

I first came across Stellan a few days ago through your blog, and like you, I’ve been checking it regularly and am always afraid to push refresh. The photos bring tears to my eyes and my heart is permanently in my throat. Jennifer is a very strong, amazing mom and has become an inspiration to many mothers like ourselves. We are definately praying for Stellan here <3

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Momsdaily July 31, 2009 at 2:05 AM

I am so glad you stopped by my blog, thank you. I hope baby Stellan is having a better day- I have been away all day and am anxious to check the status. I pray for their family and can relate to your posting- may we never take for granted our blessings :)
I hope you are having a happy Thursday,
Amelia

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ColaJae July 30, 2009 at 9:19 PM

Like you, I watch and wait and pray for Stellan….and many a tear has spilled down my cheels. But you have to have faith that God is working his wonders….if not FOR Stellan, then through Stellan….and that’s a wonderful wonder in itself. We ALL hope that Stellan’s life will be spared and that he will grow up healthy and strong and have a wonderful life with his family…..in the meantime, I can feel the spirit of God working through him and his family. THEIR strength is a testament to that! Have faith….it is strength.

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kblogger July 30, 2009 at 1:04 PM

Wonderful post. Been on my mind for days too. The power of thought, intent, and positive energy (prayer) is so strong!

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